Tonite and Friday 16 June

Hi Tuesday night swingers

 

Don’t forget there is to be another swinging event and night on Friday 16 June at 7.30 with our very own Adam Palmer as Beatle John Lennon in a musical comedy at Edithvale Bowls club. You couldn’t get a more swinging venue although it may lead to hip replacements if there is too much swinging. We hope that Adam is in top form and meets a better fate than his name sake. People can be unforgiving. You can book a table or book individually on the web site. www.aspendaletennisclub.com.au and pay by credit card or paypal.

 

At tennis HQ, “Oh Danny Boy” has stolen a march on the rest of a sorry lot. If they win the grand final they will have to sing a rousing rendition of “Oh Danny Boy”. It should be a tear to Irish Jonny’s eye. Issy and the Stooges are running second with Issy dishing it out to Old Salts on the net with attitude and intent and a hint of viciousness. What goes around comes around!. I would like to see them sing an Issy and the Stooges ballad. Mid Court Crisis were in rare form, even without there mighty talisman, in destroying Benny and the Jets. I believe one observer felt that Benny Milne was paid off for going easy on the old man but I think that is a case of show me the money. I reckon you were just outsmarted by Margaret and Bob with guile and rat cunning. In other matches the Smithsonians returned to the winners circle and disproved any thoughts that they belonged in a museum.

 

Terri and Izzy our new performers have made promising starts but now realise they are in the big time and there is nowhere to hide.

 

cheers  

 

Grant Plozza

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice

Mobile 0412 163 143

NEW EMAIL: grant@gpbusiness.com.au

 

Alcoholics Anonymous

Hi Tuesday swingers

We are back on this Tuesday night as we move into the business end of the season. “Oh Danny Boy” is on top of the pile but have lost Matene to football and will need to choose wisely in the mid season draft. Mary and Elissa are also out for the rest of the season and we wish both of them a speedy recovery. It’s a battlefield out there!.  In the meantime the 2 Andrews are it. This will require a name change, and I am told by AJ and AV that  it is to be “AA” (I hope of the battery variety rather than Alcoholics Anonymous).

 

Issy and Stooges,  who had been playing above themselves, came back to the field last week after losing Adam Palmer to a dodgy back or something dodgy anyway. Adam has physically, but not spiritually, moved to Dingley to be close to his beloved Hawks, although I do detect a timing problem with this. Does anybody else pick up what the timing problem is. At least he has signed a long term contract to remain at the tennis club.

 

A strong  contender, speaking of Alcoholics Anonymous, the “Dream Team” have been rumoured to self medicate prior to matches and this may explain their relaxed play and slow starts.

 

Another strong contender, “Old Salts” coped a hammering last week and to rub more salt into Old Salts wounds it was Matene’s parting gift.

 

I will bring a copy of the ladder with me which I have adjusted for bad luck and dodgy line calls. Expect a charge from Mid Court crisis.

 

Don’t forget our social night at the Edithvale Bowls club on Friday June 2016 commencing at 7.30. Adam Palmer is performing his beatles show and there will be games and plenty of fun. Cheap entertainment for the cheap skates amongst us. Let me know asap.

 

cheers

  

 

Grant Plozza

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice

Mobile 0412 163 143

NEW EMAIL: grant@gpbusiness.com.au

 

Tuesday night – Fake News

Hi Tuesday swingers

The look of disappointment on the guru’s face was palpable as nobody turned up on Tuesday night, except the Mid Court Crisis team. Well done to them as they are the only team to pocket the 3 points and 3 bonus points as it was a bonus round. You may well say that you got a message cancelling the night but do you believe everything that is sent. Surely a case of fake news!. The weather was OK on the night with breaks in the thunder storms, and as the Guru pointed out Kate Rod, Rafa and Murray have played in similar conditions but that was when the team meant something!

 

“Oh Danny Boy” and “Issy and the Stooges” are the pace setters with 15 points each but both have only played  the chaff so far with the wheat to come. “Old Salts” and the “Dream Team” make up the four, although the Old Salts had, what is known in the ranks as,  a failure to communicate. Only Old Salt himself turned up and may have had a seniors or D moment.

 

Down in the depths, the “Inconsistencies” have lived up to their name as have the “moonlighters”. Benny and the jets have not. Certainly no rocket or jet there. Hit and run have done plenty of running but little hitting, however their franchise player is set to return and the switch may be flicked.

The “smithsonians” have turned into second set warriors but don’t tend to worry about the 3rd set

See you Tuesday night and we will play last week’s round and try and add another week at the end.

 

cheers     

 

Grant Plozza

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice

Mobile 0412 163 143

NEW EMAIL: grant@gpbusiness.com.au

 

Tuesday night Grand Final

Hi Tuesday night swingers

Another season is done and dusted and congratulations to “Only Up” (Elissa and Ged) for their victory, and Rafa –oops nearly forgot him- over the “Mak Truck” (Kerry Adam and Murray). The Mak truck battled hard and fought back from 5-2 to 5-4 in the first set but that was as good as it got. Kerry, you’re team has nothing to be ashamed of although it will likely leave scars for many years to come.

 

It does raise the question as to where “Only Up” goes from here. A name change is in order, perhaps “Only Down” is now appropriate.

 

Please I urge all of you to take a week off before preseason training. The guru and myself are happy to provide PT classes, and Richard and Jonny will work on your tennis skills and possibly develop some where none exist.

 

All bets are off with team selections next season although if you want to put a team in- go ahead. The Tennis One Aspendale Tuesday Night Selection Committee will meet around mid January 2017 to toss around names, argue, guess, and make out as though they know what they are doing. Ultimately they will select the teams.

 

Please let us know if you wish to be part of the new way in Tuesday night tennis next season, by return email in early January. We are working towards 10 teams and 5 courts, however precedence will still be given to adults over kids if numbers dictate.  

This is not a political decision and we are still happy for the youngsters to put their names down but we do not believe the swamp needs draining.

 

Have a great festive season and this also is not a political statement.

 

cheers   

 

Grant Plozza

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice

Mobile 0412 163 143

NEW EMAIL: grant@gpbusiness.com.au

 

Tennis Awards


1.       Tennis Humanatarian award goes to Closers for deciding to give other teams a go this season. Tremendous effort as they still played as though they were trying.

2.       Most improved goes to Elissa as she has started beating up on her opposition. We though last year she was a great person taking defeat so well but now we think she is just OK. Are we sick of her winning already. Another player who rose to great heights was Murray although that was more related to the height of his lobs. No wonder we got a lot of washouts and rain

3.       The kyrios award goes to the juddster for his outburst on the court, although I don't think even Kyrios would of disrespected such an important part of the community. Andrew is really a great guy and his bark is worse than his bite.

4.       Best club person goes to Mary for her assistance in turning the lights on one night. I know this was last season but there was nobody else this season who put their hand up. You could win it for the next 10 seasons easily Mary and not lift another finger.

5.       Most dedicated is a four way split with Rafa Ged Rod and Kate playing through a torrential downpour and it was lucky we had those skim balls so they could finish the match.

6.       Endurance award goes to Wayne Russell  Grant and Glenn for a 3 hour marathon where everybody had left and even the owls had enough and went off to bed.

7.       Best commentary again goes to Adam Palmer where his incredible knowledge came to the fore as he reeled off the precise moment when each net cord that went against his team occurred, and that was broadcast while he was playing. I was going to give Adam the spin award, as it goes with the commentary, but Matene must get the spin award as he had the ball spinning like a top. Perhaps he is rubbing something on his strings -a lolly?

8.       Life time Achievement Award. To a person who has done so much for the comp but never wins anything and probably never will. It's a backhanded compliment but not sure about that as they don't have a backhand. Can you guess this person.

Cheers Grant

Grant Plozza
GP Business Solutions
CPA Public Practice
Mobile 0412 163 143
NEW EMAIL: grant@gpbusiness.com.au

Tuesday night tennis 29.11

Hi Tuesday night swingers

 

Last round of the season can you believe it. Pizza and awards night so please get down at 7.15 for 7.25 start. Pizza’s at 9.00PM with shot gun finish when the first match is over. Please have all 3 players down for the night  This week won’t really matter as the finalists have already been decided, although not their position and first week opponents, so celebrate hard and maintain focus on those celebrations. Please bring extra $5 for pizza and $2 for drinks. Congratulations to the Samurai Smiths, Full Metal Racquet, Closers and Bring It On, on tremendous seasons, only kidding actually and no finals for you. Nothing to be ashamed of but I wouldn’t discuss it with a lot of people. 5th place is up for grabs Bob so still a lot to play for. Big surprises were the Guru’s tip for glory, the Samurai Smiths, not there at the pointy end (excuse the pun) and the Closers closing in on a rare double of Premiers to Wooden spooners in one season. A proud moment for all concerned.

 

The four finalists should also not worry about the results this week as each have said that they are not frightened of the other three. The Guru said to me that this season’s finals are wide open and It may come down to Rafa and Wayne’s sore arms and the quality of Palmer’s commentary on the night.

 

See you all there.

 

Grant Plozza

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice

Mobile 0412 163 143

NEW EMAIL: grant@gpbusiness.com.au

 

Update from the Guru

 

Hi Tuesday swingers

 

The investigation into Andrew Judd’s behaviour pursuant to Aspendale Tennis Club’s code of conduct has been completed. It was duly noted that  Andrew did utter the words “you dog” after he missed a shot in a recent match. The investigation has been found in Andrew’s favour after the RSPCA had advised that no dogs were in ear shot that night. Andrew was also contrite and explained that “nobody respects dogs more than myself”. There was also no question of Andrew having his own dog chauffeured around at the clubs expense. Andrew has been buoyed at publicity received and may now launch a bid for presidency of the club. As noted elsewhere you would need to be barking mad to take on the presidency.

 

There were some great matches this week and also some crap ones. In the Tuesday comp it is sometimes difficult to know the difference. However Wayne and Issy (Grit) staged one of the great fightbacks from 5-1 down in the second set, after losing the first, to win in three. They obviously believe in their brand -Grit that is. Andrew and Peter -The Closers, may not be believing so much in their brand.

 

All the Presidents Men moved into the four at the expense of the Samurai Smiths who have lost their Mojo or simply Coby. Rafa and Ged got a big fright from Killer Kate and the dog whisperer but when the going got tough Rafa charged to the net and the rest is history although Ged nearly was.

 

Palmer and Murray got over Anthony and Margaret on the blue court and I hope they were spared some of Palmers blue jokes, although his commentary was full of great insight. I noticed there were more dents in the blue court, this time from Margaret’s forehand which went through the court like a missile.

 

See you Tuesday night. Don’t forget Sunday December 4, and Pizza night last week for the season on 29 Nov. Everybody playing!

 

cheers   

 

Grant Plozza

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice

Mobile 0412 163 143

 

Tennis Update and Ladder

Hi Tuesday swingers

The guru was telling me that this is the worst season we’ve had and I quickly pointed out that the weather has been bad too. You know what they say about close scores, however, and there are six teams separated by 5 points or less. Grit and Only Up lead the way at the top of the ladder, and it is no secret that they have 2 of the most vicious top spin players who can cut through the wind. Well, 2 of the most vicious players anyway. Sounds like a good theory to me. Elissa is well on the way to winning the most improved. Like a silent assassin she has cut good players down to size, and then with blood on her hands she has played the innocent routine “that’s not true grant”

 

Despite some major deficiencies and deficits the Samurai Smiths are the Guru’s tip for premiership glory. He must of heard that Rod is away for the finals and that Jasper the son is in secret training. All the Presidents men are roaring up the ladder as they do, with victory over Kerry the ball whisperer and Murray the lob expert. Oh that wind again. The balls could not hear Kerry’s whispers and Murray’s lobs went into orbit. At least Jonny, they are only Technifibre balls.

 

Everybody is working overtime to see if we can nudge the Full Metal Racquet (Margaret Bob and Anthony) into 5th place again. They need to get a move on but are ahead of the 2 new teams who have not really played a match yet.

 

We have waited a long time for this, but last years’ premiers are stone motherless last. They are also ahead of the 2 new teams and must take the positives. The trade that swapped Anthony for Peter last season has been short of a fantastic success and shows that free agency is doomed at the ATC.

 

Bring it On, like the weather, has shown glimpses this season and are well placed with draft picks at the end of the season. They are also only 5 points out of finals and you never know in this business but watch for tanking!

 

Please let me know if I have missed anybody on the way through.   

 

Grant Plozza

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice

Mobile 0412 163 143

NEW EMAIL: grant@gpbusiness.com.au

 

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Tuesday night tennis

Hi Tuesday swingers

I was talking to the Guru at the leadership forum (No Tuesday night captains went as they know it all) this week and he said that the last 2 weeks of tennis have been the most amazing in living memory. The week before we had torrential rain and yet players pushed through the hardship and common sense barrier to finish matches. In the match between Only Up and Bring it on there was a lake across the court but the battle raged on and on. There was the mystical sight of Rafa walking across the lake  to serve and not getting wet.

 

We then had All the Presidents men come from behind to inflict mortal wounds on the Samurai Smiths. We understand that Rod was asked to commit Hari Kari by team members but failed this as well. All the Presidents men were brought back to earth a week later in a three hour marathon with Grit (Aptly named), which was only interrupted by Rafa wearing his Martian bike helmet in the clubrooms which emitted a flickering red and blue light through the window and onto the court. I don’t know what was more electrifying Rafa or the play on court. The guru said that Wayne and Russell did not win the match but were simply in front after the last point. This makes sense to me!

 

The guru was also impressed with Bring it on (who brought nothing last year) when they smashed the Mak Truck. Killer Kate is back and the juddster gave her able support. Kerry and Murray look as though a session of hypnosis is needed from the boss or a good pot and palmer. Where is he!

 

Weather forecast is bad for Tuesday but nothing will stop the hardy swingers or save the hawks.

 

Good luck

 

Grant Plozza

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice

Mobile 0412 163 143

NEW EMAIL: grant@gpbusiness.com.au

 

21 August

Hi Tuesday swingers
The guru spoke to me about how all levels of tennis at the club had improved except for the flag ship Tuesday night comp. I said “Guru you are too harsh, while most I admit have gone backwards there are some shining lights” that I will profile in coming weeks. At least for a couple of the teams it is simply impossible to go backwards and that’s fantastic news for Bob and Rod Smith.

Rafa appears to have taken his form to another level, if that is possible, and is taking no prisoners but has he ever? The team is now ably lead by Elissa who is keeping a firm rein on him and the volatile Ged.
All the Presidents men is also under new management and Glenn Butcher is a tough taskmaster who records everything. Where have I heard that before. Can be dangerous Glenn.
For Andrew Verrall and his cohort Mary the premiership hangover has led to severe migraine that is debilitating on court. I feel their pain.
For Kerry the weight of captaincy is a heavy burden. To follow in the footsteps of Adam Palmer and maintain a running commentary is threatening to derail her tennis. For some people it is hard to do 2 things at once. I feel her pain too.

Please see the attached ladder after 2 weeks which is just too early to frame a market. Coby and Aya looked dangerous as they overcome the boy wonder and Margaret. Congratulations to Brad Bellot on his return to top flight tennis even if he is forced by his daughter to quickly go into retirement.

Lets hope I come to feel Rafa’s pain in the weeks ahead, as well as the Hawks of course.

See you Tuesday night

Grant Plozza