New Sesason Tuesday Night Tennis February 2021

Hi Tuesday Night Swingers,

We plan to re-emerge from a dark place and start a new season of our social comp in the second week of February with the same 4 player format as last time, and a 7.30 start.

3 sets of doubles for everybody and a chance to be part of a team that could create history. To be the first post covid 19 premiers. The stuff that dreams are made of.

Please let me know if you are up for it by Friday week 22nd  January at the latest.


Our selection committee will do their darndest to produce even teams. This comp is fun with a twist, and suits the intermediate and improving players as well as the people who think they are good.

New players are welcome and please send through your mobile and email to my email at We need to know your level of play and whether you are a tennis conspiracy extremist. Happy for you to ring me as well on 0412 163 143.


Cheers and practice is now available on Tuesday nights or even Sat afternoon if you contact me or Bob Milne 0418 565 993.


Start swinging again.



Grant Plozza, Director


GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice. SMSF & Trust Auditor  

M 0412 163 143




Tennis Update for Holiday Period

Hi Everybody,


We are certainly finishing the year in better shape than it appeared a month or two ago which is great news. Tennis is definitely back with a bang but we are still treading carefully based on the advice from Tennis Vic and the State Government. We realise that one major slip up and we could be closed again.


Leading into the festive and holiday season please ensure that you adhere to the covid guidelines with social distancing of 1.5 metres outside and continued good hygiene practices. That includes also:

  1. Entering names & contacts of all players -family or otherwise- in the book a court system. Contact tracing is still vital.
  2. Please ensure that a parent is supervising children under 16.
  3. Bringing your own drink bottles and hand sanitiser
  4. Sanitising/spraying equipment that you touch and use.
  5. Avoid the club house as we are required to ensure that people social distance by 4 metres inside. We now have a great deck to use.
  6. The one unisex toilet will continue to operate during the holiday period.


Remember to stay vigilant. The club and the committee remain responsible for breaches of covid guidelines so please continue to play your part. Our detailed guidelines are on the club’s web site.  


Court bookings have now been increased to 2 hours. Remember to water en tout cas courts thoroughly before play and after each set, and bag after play.


We wish everybody a great xmas and new year, and trust that you will enjoy your tennis. We all deserve it after doing such a great job during the year.


Cheers and best wishes from the Committee.



Aspendale Tennis Club Newsletter 2020


ATC Newsletter September 2020

Here we are mid way through September 2020. Most of us have hardly had a chance to hit a tennis ball on the court this year. Hopefully that all changes over the next month as we see Covid numbers in Victoria continue to drop. Fingers crossed.

While there hasn’t been much action on the courts, the committee has kept busy behind the scenes. We have applied for, and been successful with a number of grants and this will see continued improvement on of the facilities. Well done especially Penny, Eleesa and Elissa on the grants front.

For those with eagle eyes driving or walking past, you may have noticed that we have erected a shade sail s on to the eastright of the club rooms and a number couple of our hardest working committee members, namely Andrew and Bob, assisted by Ben have done a great job of installing a deck for us to sit and enjoy the tennis once we are allowed back on the court.

ATC new deck

ATC new deck

Our membership numbers were trending through the roof prior to the stage 4 lockdown with over 320. Great job Eleesa to keep on top of all this and manage a new combined membership and book a court system with more pain than benefits in the short term.

Our President and Secretary have been attending regular meetings on the development of the Regent’s Park Precinct and Aspendale Tennis Club has been assured we will receive desperately needed funding to upgrade the surface of courts 3-6. The club is looking fantastic and resurfacing the courts will be the icing on the cake, so to speak.

With some of our grant money we are hoping to reconfigure access to the clubrooms and toilets see plans below.


All match play remains suspended but with COVID numbers reducing we hope that there may be the possibility of competition, in some form, returning before the end of the year.

Lastly but not least we have our Annual General Meeting coming up and we will be running this via zoom – this is a great chance to come along without leaving home. There are always positions on the committee for those interested and we would love to see some fresh faces. We have a real need for assistance with Saturday and Sunday morning junior comps so get behind the kids and help them get up and running for their new seasons.

AGM Zoom meeting

Date: Thursday 22 October 2020
Time: 7.30pm
Register to attend the Zoom AGM with this link:
After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting.Zoom Link:

Thanks everyone.
Stay safe, wash your hands and remain socially distanced.
Aspendale Tennis Club Committee 🙂 AspendaleTennisClub

Tuesday Night Tennis Winter Finals 2020

Hi Tuesday night simulated swingers,


The results are finally in for the Tuesday Night simulated finals. There has been a massive delay with protests lodged in the semi finals by the 2 losing teams. Both protests were dismissed after a no holds barred review process. The detailed findings will be opened to the public in 50 years.  Of course Adam Palmers team was one of the sore or unlucky losers, and Bob Milne who complained that the nets were too high at least on their side of the court. Adam had appealed against the windy conditions denying him and his team the opportunity to apply their superior talent, and it was a bit chilly as well. 


On the court, Mitch Smith’s fluffy ducks came from behind to topple the top placed Slippery Slammers. Three sets all it came down to games. Marvellous tennis was played by all, but the fluffy ducks were just that little bit more marvellous. You could say the tennis was infectious as were probably some of the spectators. Andrew Judd’s Harvey Ball bangers got home by 1 game in the other semi with Moon the star as she wound back the clock to I don’t know when. Honorary mentions to the Snell’s who both had great season’s along with Glenn the Butcher. I am sorry Leanne to put you both on the same level.


The guru had to fill in for Mitch Smith’s fluffy ducks as Greg had left for Gippsland to live. We are all envious that he has been able to escape the dark side. He must of driven half the night to avoid armed check points. The guru had to swallow his pride and play alongside a long time adversary. A new found respect was born temporarily that would carry them to the premiership. Although it was the Guru who wound back the clock to his halcyon pre-war days. Mitch, Jarrod and Leigh all played their small part.  


The Grand final was played under lockdown as we were forced to lock out spectators who were desperate to get in. Some bluffed and bribed their way in despite the presence of Security guards on the gate, and also despite the guards having received extensive training in integrity, common sense and not sleeping with the players and spectators. They have been sent back to the hotels as a consequence.


The Harvey Ball Bangers were obviously overawed by the reputation of the opposition in the GF but battled gamely and were worthy losers. Cobey resurrected the Smith name after it had been trashed earlier in the season. 


MVP goes to Adam Palmer just to shut him up after a litany of complaints. He did have his moments.


Please get your entries in quickly for next season as it will begin the first week in February 2022. There will be bonus points for the team with the most innovative masks.

The keg will be back and the new deck will be the place to be seen.


I hope you have a wall somewhere.





Grant Plozza, Director


GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice. SMSF & Trust Auditor  

M 0412 163 143




Round 3 Tuesday Night Tennis in Simulation

Hi Tuesday night swingers,

I must start with a couple of apologies. One from Leanne –she won’t do it again. Back to her “butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth” tennis. She Let her racquet do the talking and did it have a lot to say. The De Boos express is on a roll. But it was still 3 all against Mitch’s mob.


I am sorry to Elissa as she was writing the teams on the board last week not the betting odds. Yer sure.


My dream was cut short this week just as I got to Adam Palmer’s match point in the last deciding match. I assume he lost it. Psyched himself out!. 3 all, then, to Bob’s team. I see just before I wake up Bob being carried triumphantly off the court by his adoring fans, and Glenn, Leanne and Vin muttering that’s what we did during the matches as well.  Then Helen kicked me at the vital stage and it’s a worry as she was awake at the time.


Mitch couldn’t play this week as one of his knees was a tiny bit sore. Wise move as the Guru filled in for him and was moving like a cheetah (very fast cat) this week, last week it was a gazelle. Leigh and the Guru together means only one thing, Danger!. Jarred was swinging from the rafters with that massive serve. The racquet was smokin hot but I see it disintegrating along with his game. Player of the year, yer sure but he was. Always next dream.


The Harvey Ball Bangers had a tight 3 sets all win, with Moon winning all her matches but nobody else from her side won. Moon’s practice against the wall is now legendary, after she dealt with the initial frustration of all her shots coming back. Aya and Rod had a another win but face sanctions for bringing the club and its spiritual leader into disrepute.


Another retraction from last week as Michael W makes piano’s but does he play them?.




Grant Plozza, Director


GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice. SMSF & Trust Auditor  

M 0412 163 143




Tuesday Night Swingers Update. Tennis has returned

Hi There Tuesday night swingers,

Hands up those who won’t be able to resume as they cannot match pre covid19 skinfolds. For Aspendale Tennis (AT) one solider goes down and we just get another one but it won’t be in brown and gold –not a good look.


Last night I had a dream although it’s not 1963 and I’m not Martin Luther King. They were the results from Tuesday nights play, Round 7, and you wouldn’t believe it but there were some major upsets. It was so real that when I woke up I thought I was still in the dream, and I had all the scores. I’m going to count this as Round 2.


Rob De Boos team, Sexon the entecar, (Sexon being a famous kids character) had their first win of the season cleaning up the Harvey Ball Bangers captained by Andrew Judd. How did this happen?. Rob brought out his spinny little serve that does not bounce and Leanne and Tim intimidated their opponents with trash talk. The tennis was dragged into the gutter but Leanne didn’t care, they would do anything for that first win. The guru also filled in for Kurtis who was isolated at his girlfriend’s place but not sure on this one as there is no covid19 in my dream. The guru wound back the clock as he moved like a gazelle and it was very sad for him to wake up later.


In another massive upset, the Pet Wussies led by Aya Smith overcome the Slippery Slammers, not led by Adam Palmer. This finished 3 sets all but Rod and Aya wound back the clock also to win their set 6-1 as they teamed like a well oiled machine, totally in sync. How did this happen?. Aya made Rod stand wide in the doubles alley and took everything. I can see Rod talking to people on the other court. Matene and Adam went hammer and tongs and I don’t know who won that battle as the dust/en tout cas had not settled. In my dream, however, I can see Adam talking to anyone who would listen but nobody does.  Michael A, Matthew and Elissa are devastated with their first loss but Elissa laid odds on losing and has made good money. I see the odds listed on the white board.  At the very end I see Adam on the guitar and Michael W on a piano and the keg and home brew flowing freely. I see no pizza or Greg but I do see a figure keeping watch at the front gate –could there be a connection. I also can’t work out how the piano got there.


In the other match I see Mitch giving his team a pep talk on court. Most of them are looking away and showing no interest. He is animated though and then points to the net to be checked. He is after all playing Bob’s team. I see Leigh playing in a Cats jumper, and along with Mitch they proceed to play inspired tennis until Mitch hurls himself at a wide forehand, and is airborne as he tries to hit his infamous off forehand, only to crash to the ground skinning both knees. Mitch can’t go on although I have no idea why. Nothing worse than  a wounded tiger. Ben Milne comes on as a replacement and starts destroying his father’s game with scintillating forehands and backhands to all corners. The net starts to get higher and higher for Bob and he cannot even see over the top. Leanne and Vin get rolled for the first time and Vin is also asked to stand wide in the doubles alley. In a nice touch Aya and Rod are the first to commiserate with them. Then more people come over and everybody is suddenly hugging and touching.      


Tennis may return soon in NSW, WA, SA, Qld, ACT, NT and Tas. So lets cheer them all on!


Instead of a hot milo tonite, have a glass of disinfectant and your problems will be over. Just ask your Uncle Donald.


Let me know if anybody has a similar dream.




Grant Plozza, Director


GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice. SMSF & Trust Auditor  

M 0412 163 143




Thursday midweek ladies

ATC Thursday midweek ladies competition team 

We’re excited to report we have another Aspendale Tennis Club midweek ladies’ competition team, playing their first ever season of comp tennis!

It all started with Richard and Kieran coaching a women’s group lesson on Friday morning, for at least the last couple of years for some of us. This term we decided this is the year we can break into the ‘hardcore, longstanding comp group’ that is ‘Thurs morning midweek ladies’.

So the team is:

Ellen Jiang, Vanessa Jacobs, (both not in photo), Mary Woolford, Nicky Hersey, Louise Bodycomb and Nadia Collins. We also have honorary members of Lorraine and Jodie who wanted to join us but were unavailable Thurs mornings.

It’s been a steep learning curve for us not only regarding “who stands where on the court” and “what’s the score?” but what morning tea to bring, how much to prepare, whether we need a tablecloth etc etc!!

Most of the teams we’re playing against have been playing together and against each other for 20 years so we feel very much the new kids on the block even if some of us don’t look it. We haven’t won many matches, or even sets but we realise we need to be patient and work hard in that regard.

What it has done is bring a group of fantastic women together from all walks of life. We all get on well and enjoy each other’s company, we have fun and we’re all improving. We meet regularly to practice and not even COVID19 is stopping us do that.

Unfortunately the comp has been postponed for now but we look forward to returning with a vengeance when everything settles down again by end of 2020.

Meanwhile we feel proud of what we’ve achieved so far and that we’re doing what the medical experts are advising-keeping fit, exercising outdoors, maintaining social distance and looking after our mental health.

Look forward to keeping you posted re our progress.

Nicky Hersey (on behalf of ATC midweek ladies Thurs comp team)


Tuesday Night Tennis during the dark ages

Hi Tuesday swingers,

The world is changing forever and Tuesday night tennis must move with it or become irreverent.

We will be playing with masks and gloves on our return on the other side. 2020 AD will become 1 AC.

At least we can put the club logo on our masks. But I am not sure how the Chicken man will be able to commentate his way through a match. Sign language perhaps.


The Guru, I understand, has moved on after the netgate affair, which cost him a premiership, and then a tigers premiership (Double whammy that would destroy a lesser man) -where was Covid19 in Sept 19. Obviously alive and well in China.


A comeback may be on the cards and the Guru has already played simulated matches against some of the Tuesday night pretenders. I know he has woken up during the night playing shots to all parts of the court. I hope he can share some of these matches over the next few weeks and see who is the best simulated swinger. Some might call it mindfulness, some might call it bizarre, I would call it a little bit out there.


I hope team captains are maintaining morale with regular 4 player video hook-ups. For Rob and Aya all is not lost, nothing a new brand, new culture and new game plan can’t fix. For Mitch all is lost!


On the other side, I hope the keg still has miles left in it and that the touchy feely people return -but perhaps not.


If you have a wall at home get out there with racquet, ball and mask. See if you can beat the wall as that is what you will need to do against Palmer, De Boos and Snell –not Vin, and Bob if the net is lowered.


As the song says “keep em separated”.


Have loads of fun. Mitch, who is winning junior scrabble amongst your tennis crew?


Grant Plozza, Director


GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice. SMSF & Trust Auditor  

M 0412 163 143




Tuesday Night Season 2020 Round 4.

Hi Tuesday night Swingers,

After 2 rounds of play the Slippery Slammers -Adam Palmer  and Old fashioned –Bob Milne are both undefeated. However, the best name goes to Andrew Judd’s team, who have followed the cocktail theme, with Harvey Ball Bangers. Old fashioned –what type of cocktail is that, but the team is old so the name does not lie. Perhaps it is a case of too old, too slow, too good.


Bob interviewed immediately  after Tuesday night’s matches said to the Guru that he is in career best form. Bob has been known to go early on some of his calls and the old humble pie could be out on the table in a couple of weeks.


The Smith name was not trending this week after Mitch Smith’s Fluffy Ducks and Aya Smith’s Pet Wussies went down in a screaming heap. The Guru had teamed Aya and Rod together to allow them to capitalise on their great togetherness and mental telepathy on the court where they would play as one seamless unit. Perhaps the thick humid air blocked those waves as they went down 6-0. Humiliated but not disgraced. They need take a leaf out of Vin and Leanne’s book at least until the storm clouds roll in on their court.


 Rob De Boos’ team is Sexon the entecar. What the hell!. Is that your baby’s favourite cartoon.




Grant Plozza, Director


GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice. SMSF & Trust Auditor  

M 0412 163 143