Open Day

Sunday 16th February 2020 from 12am

Fun activities for all ages with our coach and his team plus other activities you can come and indulge in, as an individual or with your family.


Discounted memberships available for any new members who join up on the day


FREE TENNIS 12pm—2pm

Tuesday night Comp starts on 11 February. Not too Late

 

Hi Tuesday Night Swingers,

 

We kick off next Tuesday night. Please be there at 7.15 for your riding instructions.

We have lost some players, especially younger ones. They just don’t make them like they used to. The Guru is an emergency and you can’t blame him for maintaining his reputation by not being associated with the lower standard. Bob has been moved from No 5 to No 1 –say no more!

There will be no bye this season with 6 teams and there will be no comp during school holidays.

 

Let’s make the Guru eat his words.

 

New Season 2020

Player 1

Player 2

Player 3

Player 4

Team 1

Cobey Smith

Ali Samirad

Andrew Judd ©

Moon Liu

Team 2

Mitch Smith ©

Greg Jones

Jarred Porch

Leigh Clarke

Team 3

Matene Herbert

Rod Smith

Aya Smith ©

Michael Whitney

Team 4

Rob De Boos ©

Matthew Anderson

Tim Dawson

Leanne Nelson

Team 5

Adam Palmer ©

Michael Alexander

Kurtis Smith

Elissa Macaw

Team 6

Bob Milne ©

Glenn Butcher

Leanne Snell

Vin Snell

Emergencies -First Call

The Guru

1 and 2

Margaret McKenzie

3 and 4

Ged Salter

3 and 4

Vaughan  till March 16

3 and 4

Hailey -4 till March 16

3 and 4

 

 

A couple of changes in the first 2 weeks

1.       Leanne Snell replaced first week 11 February by Greg Caddy

2.       Michael Alexander second week 18 February replaced by the Guru

3.       Margaret McKenzie to replace Tim Dawson first week 11 February.

4.       Riley Snell to replace Adam Palmer second week 18 February.

5.       I would expect Margaret to play more than a normal emergency with Leanne Nelson not available every week in first term.

 

If you need both Hailey and Vaughan prior to their departure then do not put them together and destroy the good thing they have going. Marriage?

 

If anybody else is still interested please contact me before the end of the second week

 

Rules are as per last email. The spreadsheet with player details and the draw will be sent by the end of the week.

One new rule is if you start feeling dizzy you can’t come off and pop a pill and start red lining your game for the last 2 sets. It is called sportsmanship.

 

Fees are $5 per member and $15 per non-member . Follow the lead of that most enterprising of fellow’s –Matthew Anderson, Aka Scooter Man, who has become a member and will save about $80 over the course of the year on Tuesday night tennis alone.

 

Another enterprising fellow –our self esteemed treasurer Andrew Judd has set up the square payment facility so bring your credit cards or somebody else’s to make payment easier on the night.

 

Be there and be square.

 

Cheers

 

 

Grant Plozza, Director

 

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice. SMSF & Trust Auditor  

M 0412 163 143

 


    SSAUD

 

New Tuesday Night Season Starts in Feb.

Hi Tuesday night swingers,

We need to get organised for the 2020 season so dust off those knee, elbow and ankle braces and get back on court. Please let us know by Friday at the latest if you have what it takes in 2020.

 

Format will be the same as last season. The rules have been reviewed to ensure that the wrong team does not make the grand final this season.

 

Key rules:

1.       Teams of 4 players who all play on the night. All players are to be ranked 1 to 4 on the basis of ability,  experience and size of donation.

2.       Still a mixed and doubles based social comp. That won’t change. More women needed. Where have they gone?

3.       All 4 players will play 3 sets of doubles, partnering with the other 3 players in the team.

4.       For example, if you are the number 4 in the team and are a little more challenged in terms of experience, and luck, you will always play against the corresponding number 4 in the other team in each of the 3 sets. So 1 & 4 in your team will play their 1 & 4; 2 & 4 will play their 2 & 4; and 3 & 4 will play their 3 & 4. That’s your 3 matches on the night.  As well of course 1 & 2 will play their 1 & 2; 1 & 3 will play their 1 & 3 ;and 2 & 3 will play their 2 & 3.

5.       Each match will be one 6 game set with 7 point tie break at 6 games all. There will be enough courts allocated for people to be on and off quickly between sets. We will have the 6 courts available if required. A little bit of mingling and drinking time in between should be fun.

6.       We plan to have a pool of emergencies if one of the 4 players is not available. However we need committed players to make it work and not stuff other people up on the night. No play on school holidays.

 

8.       For finals you are allowed only one emergency, outside your 4 players. The Adam Palmer rule.

 

9.       All nets must be measured before play on all courts. The Bob Milne rule.

 

10.   The higher ranked finalists can decide which courts they play on –Blue or En Tout Cas. The Mitch Smith rule

 

11.   During the season you can have up to 2 emergencies but none of them can be higher ranked than your missing players. All emergencies or new players coming in during the season will have to be ranked and official paper work will need to be lodged with the guru before they can play. Got that Moon, Anthony, Glenn and Greg!. The Conspirators rule.

 

12.   We plan a grading round on Tuesday 4 February at 7.30, and start the season proper on the 11th. Remember if you are one of the 4 players you play every week.

 

13.   All players will need to be there at 7.15 on the 11 February for briefing. Captains will be selected on the basis of demonstrated leadership potential, or if the other 3 in your team clearly couldn’t organise a chook raffle. Some mothers do have them and AT has its fair share.

 

If we don’t hear from you I will assume that you have pulled the pin and are handing over to a new generation of hackers.

 

Cheers   

 

Grant Plozza, Director

 

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice. SMSF & Trust Auditor  

M 0412 163 143

 


    SSAUD

 

Tuesday Night Tennis Grand Final

Hi Tuesday Night Swingers,

A fun packed Grand Final night with a great turn out. What was different? Everybody loved the tennis but they loved the keg more. The tennis did deliver with only 3 games separating the teams in the end. The “Sponge Bob Square Ponts” prevailed over “Point Break” and congratulations to Rob De Boos, Bob Milne, Rod Smith and Jarred Porch. Hardly household names like the mighty Smith’s – Mitch, Coby & Aya and Leigh Clarke (Leigh wasn’t able to change his name to Smith at the last minute)- but they got the job done. It is good that everybody had moved on from the “netgate” scandal in the semi-final  even if it defined a season. We haven’t finished looking at security footage however.

 

The 4 player format proved a roaring success and we will continue with it next season after weeding out the cheats of course.

 

Well done to our award winners

Jarred Porch –Most Improved. Started from a low base.

Andrew Judd –Best clubman. Likely to be phased out next season, the award that is.

Bailey Judd –Best First year player. Not sure we had another one. Just played enough matches, 1 I think

Cobey Smith -MVP Second Place. Modesty forbids me. Next best Mitch Smith, Rob De Boos and Adam Palmer. What do these 3 have in common – Yes, you guessed it their eye’s carry that killer stare on court.

Court Jesters –Joint winners Adam Palmer and Anthony Cameron. Nothing more needs to be said.

 

Hope to see you back next season. Ged is keen for us to set up on Whatsapp. Great idea I reckon.

 

Elissa, Bob, Adam and Andrew have been conscripted to the selection committee. Meeting in January for a February first week start.

Get your entries in for 2020, and explain in 50 words why we should persevere with you next season.

 

Thanks to everybody for making it our best season so far. Have a great festive season but keep an eye on your individualised pre-season program.

 

I hope Santa brings you plenty of goodies  

 

Grant Plozza, Director

 

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice. SMSF & Trust Auditor  

M 0412 163 143

 


    SSAUD

 

Tuesday Night Finals next week

Hearty congratulations from AT & Tennis Vic to our four finalists – 1 Point Break (Mitch Smith), 2 Love Guru, 3 Sponge Bob Square Ponts, and 4 Field of Dreams (Elissa Macaw). So sad for 5th Second Serve (Andrew Judd) and close 6th Apollo 13 (Moon Liu) who both left nothing on the court except blood stains. 7th spot remind me please.

 

So tough was the competition last night, that I nearly heard Moon utter an expletive. Nearly that is!. But I really think she did!. Amazing that the 3 teams fighting for 4th spot all won. Even if Glenn and Moon pulled the old stunt of playing 2 number 2s, instead of a number 2 and number 3, against the Love Guru. Shame on them was the call from the terraces but who could blame them, desperate times call for desperate measures.   

 

How about the top team, “Point Break” having the bye in the last week before the finals. Sounds like an omen to me. Cats are Mitch’s second team too. We all know what that means! They play Field of Dreams and we will all have to put up with Anthony in the main game for at least another week. The odd couple Anthony and Greg are proving a tough combination to crack, along with Matthew and Elissa who might add some sanity.

 

In the other semi against the Ponts or the punks, the Love Guru is putting the Number 1 spot out to tender for one week. This is a short term assignment and we do not need to get council approval or else the season will run for another 6 or 12 months. Players applying must provide a list of achievements and personality type to see if they fit in. If playing for the Love Guru they must feel the …..   .Chicken Palmer is unavailable but will be back in his true fashion to take all the glory in the grand final.

 

Grand Final night 17 December will be party time with Pizza night and presentations. Everybody is to play, with the remaining 5 teams on 4 courts in a fast 4 match up to determine the real bottom team. I am giving you a chance Ged to redeem your team.

 

Hang tough.

 

 

 

Grant Plozza, Director

 

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice. SMSF & Trust Auditor  

M 0412 163 143

 


    SSAUD

 

Finals Looming for Tuesday Night Swingers

You know that in a big athletics race there is sometimes a pacemaker who will do all the heavy lifting in the race to enable the real competitors to  run a good time and shine at the end. Has this happened in big time Tuesday night tennis where “Point Break- Mitch Smith, Captain and Master Motivator and Manipulator” has set the pace in the prelim rounds and may now bow out gracefully with the heavy hitters coming hard at the business end. The signs were there last week as they suffered their first loss of the season to the September specialists in November the “Love Guru”. OR were they going half pace so they don’t have to play the Love Guru in the first week of the finals. The intrigue has AT in a buzz. The “Sponge Bob Square Ponts –Sponge Bob, Captain and barometer for his team with a low pressure backhand ” have also nearly sown up a finals berth, although nobody is talking about that. The battle for the coveted fourth spot, and the likelihood of causing the big upset and beating Point Break in the first week of the finals, is a race in three. “Apollo 13” –Moon Captain and Tennis Fashion Plate)” and “Field of Dreams –Elissa  Macaw, Captain and firebrand” are equal fourth at the moment 6 points or ponts ahead of “Second Serve Andrew Judd –Captain, and inspiration on court to those who don’t know him”. You must have teams that make up the numbers, and make the others look better than they are, but perhaps one of these teams may jump out from behind the net, or out of the woodwork, and become a September hero in December. Can’t see it!

 

I almost forgot one team, “Balls Out” (Ged Salter, Captain and author of the book –Chocolates to boiled lollies in one season). No comment if I was author.

 

Congratulations to Ali and Michael who returned from long term injuries and showed they had lost nothing of what they had previously. That’s a compliment.

 

Two weeks to go so sharpen your edge. Its on!

 

 

cheers

 

           

 

Grant Plozza, Director

 

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice. SMSF & Trust Auditor  

M 0412 163 143

 


    SSAUD

 

New Tuesday Night Season starts 13 August

 

 

 

Hi Tuesday Night Swingers,

Our new comp will start on August 13 ,7.30 sharp. All players must be there by 7.15 and that includes Ben and Anthony. One point will be awarded to the other team every minute a team is late. One minute must tick over, however, not 57 or 58 seconds, you get my drift.

 

We have 6 teams so far and will need a bubbling cesspool of emergencies for the new format. New players still welcome. Remember all 4 players play on the night. The following rules have been developed by our new rules committee which we hope will  meet soon, although there is a chance it may never meet:

1.       One point awarded for each set won and 2 points for winning overall on the night.

2.       One emergency is Ok for full points but 2 emergencies mean you can’t win the 2 points but only win sets.

3.       3 teams in the finals –Second plays third for the right to meet First in the Grand Final. The bottom 3 teams to play for the right to avoid relegation.

4.       Each set best of 6 games. and 7 point tie break at 6 all. Normal sets

5.       All 6 courts will be used and a 7th court will be available on the footy oval –grass court if needed. When netball courts are finished we will have 9 courts available.

6.       Remember everybody plays 3 sets so if you are number 1 you will play alongside your number 2, 3 and 4 in the 3 sets. I will explain further to the mentally challenged and they know who they are.

7.       Finals -you must play your four players unless you provide a medical certificate or travel guide for missing player.

8.       No play on school holidays and Melb cup day night.

 

I will assume that everybody is OK to go if I haven’t heard from you.

 

I know Leanne has a couple of potential newbies. Mitch and Leigh do you have anybody else from your tribe.  Let me know quickly if people are aware of any others. Provisional teams will be out soon after this Tuesday night.

 

cheers

 

 

 

 

 

Grant Plozza, Director

 

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice. SMSF & Trust Auditor  

M 0412 163 143

 


    SSAUD

 

Tuesday Night Tennis Grant Final and Next Season

Hi Tuesday night Swingers,

 

Hi Tuesday Night Swingers

 

Well, what an effort by Pat and Marcus to win the biggest crown of their life. Tuesday night tennis Premiers! They may never reach such heights again in their life but this will stay with them. The Guru said (and that’s not me by the way) that it all changed for Pat and Marcus when they beat yours truly in the last week of the season and they realised that they could beat the best. For the Samurai Smith’s the recriminations have already started in the Smith household. I believe Aya has already laid down the law in no uncertain terms to all the men who let her down. Still a great season Aya and you did put a lot of teams to the sword. Life and tennis was not meant to be easy.

Thanks to everybody who played and tried to play this season –basically those who ventured onto the courts with racquet in hand- which was a little disjointed with weather and new fencing that is certainly worth it now.

 

Next season we have an exciting new format which will give everybody more and better quality tennis that is closer to their standard.

Key points:

1.       Teams of 4 players who all play on the night. All players are to be ranked 1 to 4 on the basis of ability and experience. Bob is all over this but I have told him there is no number 5 ranking.

2.       Still a mixed and doubles based social comp. That won’t change.

3.       All 4 players will play 3 sets of doubles, partnering with the other 3 players in the team.

4.       For example, if you are the number 4 in the team and are a little more challenged in terms of experience, racquets or racquet use, you will always play against the corresponding number 4 in the other team in each of the 3 sets. So 1 & 4 in your team will play their 1 & 4; 2 & 4 will play their 2 & 4; and 3 & 4 will play their 3 & 4. That’s your 3 matches on the night.  As well of course 1 & 2 will play their 1 & 2; 1 & 3 will play their 1 & 3 ;and 2 & 3 will play their 2 & 3.

5.       Each match will be one 6 game set with 7 point tie break at 6 games all. There will be enough courts allocated for people to be on and off quickly between sets. We will have the 6 courts available if required. A little bit of mingling and drinking time in between should be fun.

6.       We plan to have a pool of emergencies if one of the 4 players is not available. However we need committed players to make it work and not stuff other people up on the night. No play on school holidays and cup day

7.       We plan a grading round last Tuesday in July, especially for new players and will commence either the first or second Tuesday in August. Remember if you are one of the 4 players you play every week.

8.       There will be no family teams as everybody will need to be split up into teams on the basis of the above. Could be fun to play against a family member. I am sure Aya will be all over this.

 

Please email me asap so we can get organised. There are certainly spots for new players and we hope to see a few. I expect we will be inundated so get in early.

 

Cheers Grant

0412 163 143

 

 

 

Tuesday Night Comp Update for Finals

Hi Tuesday night swingers.

A hearty congratulations to our four finalists –Samurai Smiths (1), Back Street Boys (2), The Whorses (3), and Nitty Gritty Dirt Band (4)- who have all done a great job. As the Guru put it their performances are even more meritorious when you consider they are one of the least talented groups to make it to the big dance. A real feather in their caps that they all should be proud of.

 

On Tuesday night the Samurai Smiths play the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band with Shaun returning to provide extra sizzle or is that fizzle. The Back Street Boys play The Whorses. Pat and Marcus are in commanding form and Anthony and Glen are running scared, although the result will depend on whether anybody can get the ball onto someone’s backhand. The Guru said there should be a rule that you have to hit 50 backhands a match or else you are out. I might bring a few accountants down to keep track.

 

The real stuff will be on the outside courts as teams 5 to 10 strive to prove that they deserved to make finals. Remember awards for best team out of the finals and for the heavy lifters at the bottom of the ladder. Adam and Bob have been talking the big talk, but Rob De Boos and Jenny were on fire last week as they extinguished Mitch and Leigh in straight sets. Did my eyes deceive me!. If Mitch and Leigh had won they were playing finals but the big choke was on. Perhaps there is hope that Trump also will now trip over his own feet although his will be on the golf course. Benny and the Jets were through to finals if they had of won but under the stifling pressure they crumbled rather than choked.

 

This week and next is also a good opportunity to play 3 players, if you have them, and settle a few scores. I am looking forward to that.

 

Expect a carnival like atmosphere for the finals and look out for a few clowns on the court. No names but I think you can guess who.

 

cheers

 

 

 

Grant Plozza

I am not the Guru

Fast Four Tournament Results. Hot off the Press

It was a fun Sunday with the Fast 4 tournament, although it was nearly derailed as the President forgot to book courts. We had 12 teams with six in each division. Every team played 5 matches and it was a real test in the 30 degree warmth. Some were wilting at the end and were heading home for an ice bath and a cocktail. Lawrence and Dean won Div A closely from Riley and Tom his Cousin. They had a great battle in the final match as both were undefeated to that point. There was fair gap to the others with Adam and Oliver just pinching 3rd place from Leanne and David who got better as it went along. Husband and wife taking time to gell!

 

Div B, saw Craig and Nicholas, Father and Son, show a clean pair of heels  to the rest. Tim and Mary, aka Celcius Commercial Kitchens, recovered some of their sponsorship losses with some stirring performances just piping Stephen and Ty, another Father son combination who looked fairly handy with raquets in hand.

 

It would be great to have another one on a balmy winters afternoon. I am happy if someone can predict the exact Sunday for that.

 

A special thanks to Bob Milne and Elissa Macaw for their help on the day and before and to Ged Salter for setting up web site and bookings.

Bob those wraps were pretty good. Great to have a tournament chef.

 

Cheers Grant

 

Grant Plozza, Director

 

GP Business Solutions

CPA Public Practice. SMSF & Trust Auditor  

M 0412 163 143

 


    SSAUD